décembre 2, 2013

When You Start

When you start, you never know. You cannot know. There’s only a formidable expanse of unknown territory ahead, and a more or less clear vision of what it is you want to create.

You don’t know if you’ll indeed create what it is you envisioned. And you know even less if what you create — should you complete it and should it look remotely like how you initially saw it in your dreams — will have the impact, the reach, the effect you hope it will.

You just don’t.

And it’s ok. It’s how it is supposed to be.

Because now you’re entering the unknown, the unpredictable.

The true effect of being engaged in creating something is that it will bear fruits that are beyond your imaginings.

That’s why we often don’t even start. What if? And what if? Isn’t that horribly scary?

No, it’s just pure life unfolding. Because now you’re acting, you’re actively engaged in letting something emerge through you.

You’re living the life of a creator. And as soon as you do, as soon as you get up off your chair where you’ve been imagining and dreaming about and fantasizing about this beautiful thing that you’re going to create and ACTUALLY START AND DO IT… then you unleash forces and powers that are way beyond the confines of your brain and body.

It’s life doing its thing through you.

I'm just about to fall off the earth...

”The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is there’s no ground.” – Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

You can only go ahead with whatever weapons and tools you’ve gathered up to this day in your existence, the sum of your experiences, values and thoughts, the maps you’ve traced of the territory ahead with the route you intend to follow marked in red across the paper… all the while knowing that you WILL be surprised. That life will do it’s trick and use you.

And so it is. So it must be.

This is also where most of the fun is, if you only get past the fear that your stories about the unknown generate in you. If you can only escape velocity from the tendency to resist change and become an agent of change yourself, become change.

Creating is only allowing change to happen. Not resisting it.

Take me, for example. Change is happening as I type the first words of the first post for the blog residing on a domain that uses my name. And I don’t know where that’ll lead me.

I’m writing this in English, who would have thought? Not me. I’ve never been at ease writing in English, and now that I type, the words come in this language.

I’m sitting in a plane, going to San Francisco for the first time — for, of all things, a business conference. I say “of all things” because if you’d told me that a few years ago, I would have said never in a million years. I would have said I don’t have a business bone in me, nor do I have any interest in gaining one. I considered myself an artist, a writer.

I considered myself a creator, and it’s only now that I can appreciate and understand how much more of a reactor I was than a creator during all those years.

But life did his thing, it created through me, and now I’m sitting in an airplane, banging in English the first words of a first post for a site whose time has come — for me at least.

I have big plans, sure. I have a vision of what I want to create here, and I’ll elaborate on that in future posts. If you follow along you’ll see themes emerge…

What it means to create.

What it means to be free, and happy, and useful as we live our life as creators instead of reactors.

So, yes — I do have plans and visions. I do have a specific intention to serve people and be an instigator of their own creative potential, their own inner freedom, their own happiness.

But I just don’t know how it will go.

And I don’t know what will be created out of that, what will emerge and happen and flourish out of that creative activity — if any!

And I don’t know how the thing itself will evolve. Because as soon as I get past the imagining and dreaming stage, all hell will break loose as the forces of change — life itself in its own amazing generative capacity for growth and transmutation — and evolution are set in motion.

But that is how we begin.

We may never be ready, because we never know what will ensue.

So we have to jump as soon as we can.

In my experience there are only two things necessary before turning a dream into a project:

  1. Some sense of the direction (if the end point is blurry, that’s ok), and
  2. Having our inner ducks sufficiently aligned so that we are not pulled in conflicting directions (I’ll be talking a lot more about that in upcoming posts).

As soon as we can feel, “Yes, this is what I really want to create”, then… Even if we don’t know where it will lead us…

We hit Send, and boom! It all starts to unravel.

Welcome to the beginning.